As In a Mirror

…then by golly He could use a person!

Well, now, I have finished the book Give Me This Mountain by Helen Roseveare, and wrote a book report on it, so now I can share an Inspiring Story with y’all!

Dr. Helen Roseveare was an English missionary to the Congo in the 1950s and 60s, and eventually stayed in the country when it was very dangerous to do so. Dr. Roseveare attempts to show what reality in a missionary’s life is like, how missionaries are very normal people, in the words of Jim Elliot, “Just a bunch of nobodies trying to exalt Somebody.” She does not shy from telling the problems and weaknesses missionaries and evangelists face in their everyday lives, but still emphasizes that there is true honor and nobility in the work, because in our weaknesses, Christ can be strong in us if we allow Him. The title of the book come from the Scripture Joshua 14:12, in which Caleb, who has been granted by God an inheritance of whatever land he desires, chooses Mount Hebron. Caleb says, “Now therefore, give me this mountain of which the LORD spoke in that day; for you heard in that day how the Anakim were there, and that the cities were great and fortified. It may be that the LORD will be with me, and I shall be able to drive them out as the LORD said.” I found the book quite riveting, because Roseveare, like Caleb, went into hostile and uncertain territory, and learned to not give up until she received the inheritance promised by the Lord.

In this book, Roseveare makes it very clear in this book that missionaries are normal Christians, just like you and me, growing in God and His ways, making mistakes and fixing them, going over mountains and through valleys. There was a time during her service in the Congo that she felt so desperate and separated from God.

My heart accused me on the level of Christian living. I was often so irritable, and there were even occasions when temper flared up inside me as I felt that a faithful African fellow-worker had been misjudged or wrongly treated, My heart seemed so hard. I was often so critical and proud in my outlook. Along with this my communion with the Lord shriveled, prayer became a formality, Bible reading a burden. I longed for liberation and peace and joy…

I felt again that I was a failure, empty, cold, unreal. It seemed I was putting on an act, with mixed motives, and deep in my heart, cold doubt began to rear its head. I faced again the old taunting of the devil. Are you really saved? Could you be so hard and critical, could you lose your temper, could you be so jealous of another, if the Lord Jesus was really dwelling in you? You preach it all, but you don’t live it, It isn’t real!”

Roseveare felt so frustrated with her white fellow workers, at the same time feeling a growing barrier between her and her African friends. “And so I felt alienated almost from God Himself. There seemed to be no contact, just a sad yearning and loneliness.”

So one morning during morning prayers with the African congregation, she read from Phil. 3:1-11. On the chalkboard she made a red cross, then listed on its left side all the things man counts dear to himself: public opinion, popularity, worldly wealth, security, etc. and wrote “dung” above it. Then on the right siude of the cross she wrote “That I may know Him.”

Suddenly the Holy Spirit came down upon the congregation, and with much crying many made their way to the front and got right with God… My heart cried out to God. How could I be used in this manner to bring others to the foot of the cross, to repentance, to joy of salvation, and all the time my own heart was so cold and untouched? I turned to the African elders and blurted out the depths of my own needs. Then I rushed from the church. Back in my own home I threw myself on the ground in a desperate, frantic plea before God for His mercy and grace to be extended to myself also.

So the local pastor, upon hearing of her problem, decided she should come to his village for seven days of prayer and fasting.

We sat in silence, a silence you could feel, almost hear. As they earnestly prayed, slowly the Spirit of God reached through into my heart and broke down the barriers of pride, the frigid restraint, and revealed so much of self. He helped me to unburden my heart, to reveal all the rottenness and sense of failure, the fears and criticisms, the pride and selfishness. Then, so gently and quietly, Pastor Ngdugu took up my words, point by point, and led me to look away from myself to the Christ of Calvary. He dealt with the need of restitution on certain points, the need of apologizing and asking forgiveness on certain others, and a great calm came.

Four amazing days followed, spent in the presence of the Lord. It is hard to describe or put on paper the preciousness of that week, spent alone, utterly given over to the influence of the Holy Spirit speaking through the pages of Holy Scripture. My mind seemed to be more crystal-clear than I had ever known. I felt no need of sleep; I had no consciousness of hunger, nor any of bodily pain or discomfort. There was a tremendous, overwhelming sense of His presence, a deep awe and wonder, I felt caught up, as it were. Even time seemed to pass with no reality. I met Him. There was little or no emotional involvement. But there was a great sense of eternal reality, of light, of truth.”

We all certainly have a thing God wants us to work on, which is often the very LAST thing we want to deal with, however, nothing can compare to that freedom. God will use both situations and other Christians in our lives to show us what we need work on to come closer to the image in the “mirror;” He may even use us sometimes! Wow!

And do not be drunk with wine, which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, submitting to one another in the fear of the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:18-21)