I haven’t been very wordsy, lately, and it seems it’s the wrong time to be that way! 2010 has been one of the fullest years of my life, and coming out of a tough season in 2009 made it even more interesting.
I’m looking forward to what God has in store for 2011. And I don’t say that methodically or religiously. The earth and everything in it belongs to the Lord. We knew from the start that 2010 was going to be associated with “newness.” Has anyone ever told you that newness often comes out of brokenness? For me, this past year has been about having everything, including myself, fall apart, and trusting that God would make it new. I have learned to trust the Lord that my suffering is not His rejection; I am His child– but not because I go by the title “Christian” or have a Christian family, church, and friends. Rather, it’s because in a time and place I surrendered to Jesus and was regenerated by the Holy Spirit, and have been following Him since. I entered the narrow gate and walk the narrow way. For real, blessed are those who enter by the narrow gate and walk the narrow path!
I also discovered that even though this new birth has brought me incredible freedom and vitality because of communication with the Father, I still have burdens and hurts. And I’m still an incredibly weird weirdo! But not just any ordinary weirdo! … Say, that sounds like an autobiography title! “Not Just Any Weirdo!” Yah!! Funny how I use exclamation points even though I physically lack any energy at all…
I think that the biggest lesson I have learned this year, is actually this: God loves me. He really does! Isn’t that so incredible? Let’s add some perspective to that: God is good. That’s a true statement, a commonly stated statement in Christian circles (I hope!) Now. When we say God is good, we do not take God and fit Him into our perception of good; rather it is observing the character of God, who existed before time began, and defining that as good. Whatever He is, that’s good. When we say God is good, we do not take God and fit Him into our perception of good; rather it is observing the character of God, who existed before time began, and defining that as good. Whatever He is, that’s good. Reason: God, unlimited by time because He is outside of time. Outside of time because He has no beginning and no end. Surely this is boggling to the mind, because our minds are created, with a definite beginning and end, limited by time. God, not defined by good but the definer of good, exactly because He has always existed, thus He defines everything else– His nature is truth. Not His nature is defined by truth, but truth is defined by His nature– His pre-existent, never-ending nature.
So, how would our nature be, compared to His? Not only limited by time, falling short of His knowledge and ability, but also falling short of His purity– because of the choices we have made. Yet somehow, because I gave up all I took pride in regarding goodness and worthiness, and chose to trust that the ransom offered by God’s holy Son would be sufficient for me before the throne of eternity, and that in life He would guide me, He loves me! How cool is that? But this year it has meant even more to me, for many reasons. God does not look for the things human beings look for in me. And because I fall apart (the kind of falling apart from constant pressure–not sin), people can think I’m crazy, and even more so because I just have that gift in the first place. But God wants me to know that what people think does not represent what He thinks. I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus, I am clean, I am free, no matter my circumstance or my appearance.
And His grace is sufficient for me. I think that now I have a deeper understanding of what that means. I will be weak and fall apart because of the constant pressure (I’m not talking about giving into temptation; I’m talking about falling down under an avalanche of bricks- the burdens developed by physical and spiritual labor– the weariness that develops after sacrificing ourselves for the sake of others for a long time), but I mustn’t be discouraged, because it’s not my performance that gets me “good” in heaven– it’s the fact that I’m under Jesus’ sacrifice, and that I chose to be there. That’s His grace, and I have to make the choice every day that it is enough for me, on earth just as it is in heaven. I choose to love Him, and I love Him so much, because He is holy and He’s done so much for me. I choose every day to love Him, and I have to choose to believe every day that He loves even a wretch like me– even a weirdo like me!
So in blogging, this year has been pretty spontaneous and random! Ha! I sound so smart when I repeat myself… I can tell that I’ve been relying on funny videos for a part of therapy– laughter is good for the heart!
I’ve tried to keep up with a few memes, until I decided just to do them when I can! They include the Word for Wednesday, Inspiring Story, and Something Beautiful, great memes but I don’t always make it! Unfortunately, Mondays and Wednesdays don’t seem to be the best blogging days for me… but I try, and won’t stress out! Also of note is that I won my first ever contest this year!
New Year’s resolutions? Vacuuming! Check! Complete! Haha! To celebrate New Year’s Day, I skipped about town (literally; did you know it’s more efficient than jogging?), had my first hot white chocolate, and a highlight donut! Haha! That was… two days ago. This post is late in the making :S
But seriously, New Year’s resolutions have seemed hokey to me; everybody wants to lose 10 pounds. The way I see it, all these resolutions will make us hate the year even more because we’ll feel that we haven’t lived up to the standards we set for ourselves. But I believe that this year I’m going to strive to base my actions on what God thinks, not on what man thinks. Of course, this is always the goal, but this year I think I’m going to consider it more consciously, while I wait on whatever He has in store. In that way, I want my life to become more defined as worshiping Him.
As far as the blog goes, I figured I’d find out what the top 10 most popular posts of the year were:
1.) Something Beautiful: A Good Nativity Song. Wow, that made it!
2.) Review: Hillsong Live: Faith+Hope+Love. How cool!
3.) LIFE magazine article on Operation Auca. Now that makes me happy that folks were able to find that resource through my blog!
4.) How to make your own CD cases. My first… okay, ONLY in-depth instructional post.
5.) Book Review: The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun and Paul Hattaway
6.) Let’s See How This Goes… Ha! My “facebook” music tag, thanks to Jay. That game was so fun!
7.) Great Mission Aviation News! The Kodiak airplane, designed for best efficiency for the mission field, reached Kalimantan, Indonesia! How cool!
8.) Word for Wednesday: Ministry
9.) Keep Your Recycling to Yourself. A humorous analogy I found.
10.) Everyone in the Church Must Read! A great clip from a Ray Comfort article on Christianity.
My personal top 10 favorites (aside from the above):
2.) Spring Photos. Posted in the winter…
5.) WFW: One Year
6.) Word for Wednesday: The Beginning and The End. Sums up my year.
7.) Something Beautiful: The Influence of a Christian Mailman
8.) Inspiring Story: Compassion International
10.) Good Friday: Up That Hill
And we gotta have a bonus!
When Did I Become an Alchemist?
Still haven’t joined a blogroll, still not many followers. Oh well. I have the gift of not having popularity except the kind that may be associated with a sore thumb or the buck-toothed elementary kid.
And now after all that writing and all that linking… I’m so done writing. How was your year?
This is a nice post. If you wrote a book, I’d read it. Especially if it was titled “Not Just Any Weirdo!” LOL I did a quick search, and that title IS available, you know. It’s also available as a domain name!!!
I’ll always remember 2010 as the year I drew closer to my darling daughter, that beautiful girl who vacuums the floors when they are dirty, not when she is asked to do it. Who makes me feel a little better about my own weirdness because she can be wacky, too. You were like my “strong right arm” this year. XOXOXO You’re not as much of a misfit as you think.
You’re a diamond– rare, brilliant, precious. 