As In a Mirror

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy.
I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is:
Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.
But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
But this I say, brethren, the time is short, so that from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none, those who weep as though they did not weep, those who rejoice as though they did not rejoice, those who buy as though they did not possess, and those who use this world as not misusing it. For the form of this world is passing away.
But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.
There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry.
Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his virgin, does well.
So then he who gives her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.
A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.
But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.” (1 Corinthians 7:9, 25-40)

The married women in my church, including my mother, occasionally address us younger women with these words of wisdom: “Girls, remember 1 Corinthians 7; this is not a command, but rather our very well-founded advice: don’t get married.” They quote word for word mostly those parts that I put in bold letters above. “Even if you marry a godly man, the union of two human beings always means clashing. It is true, marriage is not a sin, but it is a distraction; such will have trouble in the flesh, and we would spare you. We love you. Even if God does have someone in store for you, it’s not your job to look for him. We’re not “shopping” here. There’s never gonna be a knight in shining armor. What you need to do is focus on God, seek Him above all else, cause you wouldn’t trade two seconds in His presence for anything. A life being single is a life that can be fully devoted to Him, and it is abundant blessing. Also, it is very important that people in this generation will serve the Lord without distraction. Seek Him first and if God’s got a man for you, He will provide him in His perfect time.” They talk about Revelation 14:

Then I looked, and behold, a Lamb standing on Mount Zion, and with Him one hundred and forty-four thousand, having His Father’s name written on their foreheads.
And I heard a voice from heaven, like the voice of many waters, and like the voice of loud thunder. And I heard the sound of harpists playing their harps.
They sang as it were a new song before the throne, before the four living creatures, and the elders; and no one could learn that song except the hundred and forty-four thousand who were redeemed from the earth. These are the ones who were not defiled with women, for they are virgins. These are the ones who follow the Lamb wherever He goes. These were redeemed from among men, being firstfruits to God and to the Lamb. And in their mouth was found no deceit, for they are without fault before the throne of God.” (Revelation 14:1-5)

We young people should definitely take heed to the voice of our elders, who have been around a lot longer and learned a lot during that time, who love us more than anyone on the face of this earth. Their advice is sound, rooted in the Scripture and much experience, and they also have the Spirit of God. I am grateful for the older people in my church who give me and others wise counsel and encouragement; some of them are my best friends! (Who really believes that there is a “generation gap?”) A Chance to Die by Elisabeth Elliot is such a wonderful book to read, because she remained single all her life, during a time when it was difficult for a woman to be single.

In our hearts we may feel lonely, we may long for a companion, but if we are honest with ourselves we know that there is no way any human, not even a saint, can fill the vacancy in our hearts, only Jesus. I remember that late night when the Lord saved me. I remember kneeling in front of that red antique chair, tears flowing outside of my control, as I was washed from the inside out. It was a cold night, as it is now, but what heat there was in the presence of the Lord! Unlike anything I’ve ever experienced; it was the kind of heat where you couldn’t get too close, but still wanted to remain still. I remember hearing His voice in the silence, and it still speaks to me now: It is enough that I AM. Nothing I could ever do or say could get me to heaven; Jesus took care of that. In like manner, as I live this new life, nothing any man could do or say will give me peace and security; Jesus is enough; aye, He is more than enough! He shall supply all my needs! I don’t have to plan my life; God has, and He just needs me to follow Him one step at a time.

He has given me such a good life; a close family and church, the best friends in the world, the Scriptures in my own language, the freedom to discuss it with others, food, clothing, a place to sleep, and the most beautiful cat in the world! His blessings are countless, but it is His fullness that is my real blessing.

I don’t know about you, but I’m no distressed princess (hear me out, I’m not referring to my male readers as “princesses”) in a castle waiting for my knight in shining armor (I’d be very quick to point out the imperfections in that armor). I haven’t got the time to wait in a castle; there’s work to be done; the harvest is white. And the only One I know who’s coming for me is the King who came lowly, sitting on the colt of a donkey, not seeking any gain from me, but rather gave His very life for me. What can I do now but surrender my life to this risen King, and trust that He is enough?

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